I'm going to jail i love you
one two three fourrrrnication!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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