dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
