At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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