My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
