So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
