can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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