You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
