So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize