Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
