sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize