Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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