she smelled like a LAN party
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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