I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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