i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
