Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
