Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
