GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
