You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize