You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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