Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize