Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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