shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Randomize
