I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
