So drunk its hurt
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
