His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
