I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
