whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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