I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
