Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
