I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
