PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
