the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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