Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm really busy with my period
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