I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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