I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
