i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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