I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
