I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
