my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You may now shotgun with the bride
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
