Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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