The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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