I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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