Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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