I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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