Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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