found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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