Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
