And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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