just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize