my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
