It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
