and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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