your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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