Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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