a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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