Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
