put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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