im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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