i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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