my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had to cum in my sink.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
