Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
