I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
