she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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