So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Success! We fucked roommates!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
