My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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