it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
