Whats the glycemic index on semen?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
