Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
